Day 5 of the Wild Girls, Wild Nights Blog Tour and Book Giveaway is coming right at you!
Today it’s Dawn Mueller’s turn to share the sexual quest that led to her story “Cockadoodle Doo.”
We’ll be featuring one story a day from the book through June 22, and anyone who comments on any of the posts will be entered in a drawing for one of three free copies of the anthology. You can comment on more than one post and be entered more than once. I'll announce the winners by June 25, if not sooner, and ask for mailing info.
Most of these entries will be commentary by the writers themselves, but a few will be reviews by other writers.
I wrote “Cockadoodle Doo” in January 2008, shortly after completing the initial draft of A Single Year, my memoir documenting the year I spent on a quest for casual sex. While that year was 2004-2005, various attempts at relationships kept me from completing the book more quickly. As much as I learned about my sexuality during that year, I also learned that romping around in the green, green grass of sexual abundance left me feeling increasingly empty.
I craved a committed relationship, and was prepared to do whatever it took to get it. It didn’t matter if I had to make hard compromises. Things would balance out. That’s how it worked, right? Whatever it was, I was willing to try it, or change it, or do something in service of the relationship. I knew it would be a lot of work, but I was ready!
Unfortunately, the first two women I was with following that year had different ideas. One saw the potential of our relationship as a kind of carnival game and, upon winning the prize, decided that having a big stuffed giraffe took up a lot of space and got in the way far too much. The second was a purely sexual situation that I naively thought I could twist into something more. Both lasted close to a year but should have never gone beyond 2 months.
Enter the third. Based on where we took each other sexually, it seemed like the third time was, indeed, the charm. Sure, we were driven by sex, but again I thought I could will it into something more. And this time, it did become something more. In a lot of ways it was something greater than I had expected and bigger than I could handle. Even though I knew I was out of my league in nearly every aspect (except sex), I believed it could work.
A significant age difference means maybe you don’t like the same music or your partner doesn’t know what a rotary phone is, but a significantly different standard of living means maybe your partner wears Armani and has a stylist and you wear Old Navy and let a friend cut your hair. While we had a slight age difference (7 years), our living standards were poles apart and much more difficult to overcome.
In spite of it all, we soldiered on. I got the benefit of an extravagant lifestyle and she got… well, I’m not sure what she got. Me, I guess. And from what she told me, I was good to her sexually—the best she’d had. (This was true for both of us as evidenced in “Cockadoodle Doo.”)
Eventually though, our corporate and non-profit worlds collided and it became clear that no matter how good the sex, it was not enough to compensate for our differences. A lifestyle of corporate dinners with executives, extravagant business trips, and endless hobnobbing, while fun for a while, was not the way I was comfortable living. I didn’t measure up and would never be her equal. So it ended, and it was sad, but I try to look on the bright side and appreciate the good things—great orgasms, delicious food, and beautiful vacations (not to mention a few more stories to tell)!
Dawn Mueller is the author of the recently published memoir, A Single Year. She lives on the north side of Chicago with her chocolate lab, Mousse, and her incorrigible kitten, Kazoo. She writes about lesbians, sex, and relationships and, thankfully, remembers it all the next morning.
June 3 Angel Propps: The Daddy I Didn’t Know I Needed
June 4 Destiny Moon: The Corruption of the Innocent Pornographer
June 5 Danielle Mignon: Are You My Mommy?
June 6 Charlotte Dare: Higher Learning
June 7 Dawn Mueller: Cockadoodledoo
June 8 Lynette Mae: Risking It All
June 9 Cheyenne Blue: Nurse Joan
June 10 Catherine Paulssen: Delinquents
June 11 M. Marie: Auto-Complete
June 12 Giselle Renarde: Ring of Roses
June 13 Mia Savage: Kat’s House
June 14 Dawn McKay: Hot Desert Nights
June 15 Allison Moon: Foxy and the Ridiculous Lesbian Orgy
June 16 Allison Wonderland: Guise and Dolls
June 17 Anna Watson: Tamago
June 18 Evan Mora: Insatiable Travel Itch
June 19 Catherine Henreid: Odds
June 20 H.M. Husley: Threesome
June 21 Jasmine Grimstead: Lost Batteries
June 22 Monica E. Moreno: Polvo de Hadas